Dodgers around the world unite

Nope. I don’t mean the baseball team. Though I was thinking about them just a bit ago–what a sad state they appear to be in at the moment, by the way. Specifically, I was thinking about their name. They went through a few names before becoming the Trolley Dodgers and then just the Dodgers. It’s the trolley dodging that got me thinking.

I am a dodger. Not exactly an Artful Dodger, but I am dodging a few things at the moment. (I’m finding that writing is a great reason to dodge other work. Who can blame me for writing? It’s my job.) I don’t think I’m the only one in the world who is dodging this very moment. Or it’s more like procrastinating, but I prefer dodging as it seems like a more active endeavor, like it might burn more calories than procrastinating… like dodge ball is more active than say, golf.

I must bob and weave some in order to juggle a modern over-committed life, but artful dodging? Not so much. But in the spirit of openness and clarity of purpose that this thinking has brought to my life, I embrace the fact that I try to dodge at all, and I, therefore, propose an international fraternity of dodgers. (And if some of us become artful, then so be it.) I know such an organization will hearten and uplift many a saddened soul who believes all dodging is evil, hiding their dodging from fear of judgement and reprisal. All dodging isn’t evil.

I propose that all we dodgers form an organization in which we can take pride that we dodge things: trolley cars, stalkers, ex-boyfriends, ex-spouses, angry students, fussy parents, fierce hummingbirds, soccer balls, demanding co-workers, hail, speeding cars in a school zone, robber barons, and so on. Before the group is officially formed, we’ll need to decide if we shall admit political dodgers or not (you know, draft dodgers, Republicans, Anarchists, the French, etc.). But no matter what, let’s get rid of the stigma of dodging already and separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the lambs from the sheep, the Romulans from the Vulcans.

The International Fraternal Order of Dodgers needs a motto.

How about this: Ever Thus Dodging, Ever After Dodging.

Of course, we’ll need someone to translate this into Latin. And we’ll need an artist to create a coat of arms. All the English majors dodging math classes can write the basic code of the dodgers. The accountants dodging English classes can handle the financial business of the group. (I’m thinking we recruit first at colleges because there is a LOT of dodging happening on campuses.)

What do you say? Are you with me on this?

Before I organize this group, though, I need to teach two classes for the next couple of months, complete an article with a friend, write another article with another friend, present a conference paper on geographic information systems and writing studies, attend a regional workshop for writing program administrators, finish the spring schedule, write a memo for the dean, write another paper for a group (I promised), give a talk on Dracula, ask for a change to our program web site, get going with some web guru work of my own, write for another two blogs, edit some writing, and do a whole heck of a lot of research. Oh, and I’m trying to finish reading a book I started on July 26.

How about this for a t-shirt? “Dodge This.” We include a blank box underneath so we can all insert our own particular dodgings. Yes. It’s brilliant. (I’m currently dodging a t-shirt design that is strikingly similar to this very thing. Thank goodness others haven’t dodged this work and came up with the idea. Real dodgers know to surround themselves with brilliant folk.)

Ever Thus Dodging, Ever After Dodging. Long live the dodgers, huzzah.

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1 Comment

Filed under Totally Self-Indulgent, Victorians Everywhere, Writing and Identity

One response to “Dodgers around the world unite

  1. I’m game. “Ever Thus Dodging, Ever After Dodging”

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